scrap of life.

As I unraveled the mystery of the pleasures life has to offer and for me to indulge, I trembled onto small bits of broken glass scathe myself that which I know off will stay on permanently. Every now and then my heart skips a beat in a way that I felt it thumping hard up and down my chest, my whole body aces in pain and terror for I could not withstand the great pressure life has burdened me into.

I was weak. I felt I was being pushed away. I was stepped on. I was abandon like a stray dog in need of a home. I was hopeless and foremost, I was LOST.

No matter how hard I try to dig out of the dark pitch I have put myself into, I could never catch a glimpse of light even though after few ticks of time light did penetrate but never did it embeds.  I felt lonelier each day, the harder the things get, the greater the problems I have to solve. I felt the need of running away; far away in a possible place I could isolate myself but I can’t. My feet felt heavier, every ounce of my sins chained to my legs making it difficult for me to escape. I was thirsty for peace, I was dying of freedom. I cried, I wailed, I scream my bloody lungs out but no one heard, no one cared and no one noticed. At the end, when everything comes to a halt and when my energy starts running out, I felt exhausted and the spirit of living starts to dimmer. I fell in an even deeper pitch than I started of with.

My dreams, my hope, my faith all of it became a total blur. Nothing seems to be clear anymore and the whole idea of breaking free, well, it became a huge living trap fit for all. As I was about to lock myself in and shut my eyes for good, allowing the alluring grievousness drowned me into a massive filth of contaminated worldly goods, I felt Him. I merely felt Him, listening to me obediently, constantly keeping a close eye on me, and talking to me in a way of severe tranquility. Just when the entire world completely shuts their doors tight, giving me the hardship to enter, He swung the doors right open as wide as possible. I couldn't realize it at first because I was too busy slipping over one key to another trying to unlock the doors the world has shut me out off.  His ray of hope gave me that indirect realization that I might, just might have the chance to relive again, to turn over a new leaf. 

At last, I was out again. I was free to soar the ninth cloud.  I was free from the dark pitch which I might have fallen a few times and more. I surrendered to nothing other than Him. I repent to no one other than Him. I praise Him for everything.  For helping pull me out of the pitch I have been digging out for as long as I could remember. I felt his love and no other greater love is comparable to HIS. For when I stand in prayers, bows and touches the forehead to the floor in prostration, the soul is transported away-out of the room, out of the world, where there is no pain, no illness only love and healing.